You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Holy sore nipples Batman
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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