Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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