smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I would fuck him just for his dog
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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