you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
