i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
My cat gives me a boner
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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