Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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