Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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