No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
