dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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