I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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