Christians are straight up FREAKS
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
