yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
