Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
