I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
