words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
