You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize