You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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