so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
