I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
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I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
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Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
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