you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
