ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
