This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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