Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
