Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
