He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
