the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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