she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
