If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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