Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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