Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
