like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Randomize
