She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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