i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Randomize
