I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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