I'm eating all of the evidence.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
