You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
