dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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