so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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