obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
He uses pillows to masturbate.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize