Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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