And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
In America we eat man semen.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
