He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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