GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
