what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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