Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
