Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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