boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
