I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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