They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
