State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
