wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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