I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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