Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
