I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My friends, they love my intelligence
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
