You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
