kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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