she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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