giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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