Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Randomize