Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
