At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
