you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
